Gone Camping
by T-money1
Summary: Vegeta, Goku, Krillin, Bulma, Chi-Chi, and 18 go to a cabin for a full week. But all heck breaks loose when that certain 'time of the month' comes around and all three women get it. What will happen? Please R&R.
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing, don't sue me.

Ladies and Gentlemen, back once again to entertain, inform, and be clownish. The one, the only, T-MONEY!

That's right amigos, I have returned. Big as life, and twice as crazy. Well, I guess some of you have been wondering where the hell I've been all this time. It turns out that I just couldn't find the time out to write anymore stories. This semester, I joined the newspaper at my school, as I'm hoping to get a career in journalism. So now, I have to worry about meeting deadlines. But, I have just recently handed in my articles and I now have some free time until the next time I'm given new assignments.

But in the meantime, I will try my absolute T-Money hardest to satisfy the needs of you with entertaining and riveting fics that I hope you will enjoy.

But about this story, this was inspired from an episode of 'Married…with Children'. In it, the men and women end up getting a cabin for a week. Until all hell breaks loose when that certain 'time of the month' comes around, and all three women get it AT THE SAME TIME. AHHHHHHHHHHH! Just clowning, ladies, I didn't mean to make it sound so horrifying. Anyway, this fic o' mine will feature Vegeta, Goku and Krillin in the roles of Al, Steve, and Bud. And Bulma, Chi-Chi and #18 in the roles of Peggy, Marcy, and Kelly. But you don't have to be a fan of "Married…with Children" to enjoy this, so don't worry. Well, this would take places sometime after the Cell Games, and Goku is still alive because I say so, dammit. If I had my way, he wouldn't have died. So let's just pretend he survived.

And to any females out there who may feel offended, believe me that this was not my intention at all. This is all in fun, but if you feel offended in any way, shape or form, then I apologize to you. So enjoy, ya heard?

But we cannot continue without another critically acclaimed installment of…**Interesting Note (just for fun)**

**Interesting Note (just for fun) – **Have you noticed when you are walking with your date, one of you has to change the way you walk? Either the guy has to walk like the chick, or the chick would have to walk like the guy. Ain't that a trip?

**GONE CAMPING**

Vegeta came in and sat down on the couch with a bottle of water and turned on the TV after completing his daily workout.

Bulma remained busy upstairs with their infant son, Trunks, and Bulma's parents were away on vacation.

At that moment, life was good, until Goku showed up in the living room with his Instant Transmission.

"Hey Vegeta," the pure-hearted Saiyan announced.

"Hello Kakarott," he said sarcastically.

Goku sat down on the couch next to Vegeta. "Well, it's all been taken care of."

"Do you have it all set up?" the Saiyan Prince asked.

Ever since the battle against Cell, the two rivals became friendlier towards one another. Vegeta and Goku developed a much deeper respect for the other, even though they still got on each other's nerves from time to time.

"Yeah, the cabin is all set for next week," Goku said. "My Grandpa Gohan had it kept away as a secret sanctuary for special occasions. The weather is beautiful, the fish are plentiful and it's so peaceful and tranquil since there's no one around for miles. All the things we could possibly want. So what do you think?"

"What do I think?" Vegeta slowly smirked at hearing what his fellow Saiyan said. "You know, when you came to me with the idea of going someplace where we could actually relax, I thought that it would be the stupidest thing I've ever heard come from your mouth. But perhaps, now that Cell is dead, why not? I got to hand it to you, Kakarott. That sounds like a good idea."

"Alright Vegeta!" Goku exclaimed. "I knew you would see it that way. Besides, it's just for the week. And if we need to train just to get it out of our system, we can."

"You've really thought this through, haven't you?" Vegeta chuckled. "Quite an impressive feat considering the planner."

Goku was about to say something until he registered what Vegeta said.

"Hey!" he said with an annoyed look. "Is that a shot at me?"

"Relax, Kakarott," Vegeta said to his companion. "You should know by now that it's part of my nature to insult you now and then."

"So do you want me to come over pick you up tomorrow morning, let's say around 7?" Goku asked.

"That would be just fine."

* * *

**DAY 1**

Vegeta sat on the couch the next morning, sporting his black leather jacket, red t-shirt, a pair of blue jeans and his usual black sneakers.

At that moment, Goku knocked and opened the door. "Cock-a-doodle-do, Vegeta."

"About time, let's go," Vegeta said as he got up from the couch.

As Vegeta grabbed his stuff, Goku and Chi-Chi came inside. Goku was wearing a white t-shirt and black jeans with his brown coat and blue sneakers, while Chi-Chi is wearing a black sweater and blue jeans with white shoes with her hair down.

Vegeta turned around and paled when he noticed Chi-Chi.

"Ready to go, Vegeta?" Goku asked.

"Yeah."

Vegeta made little jerking gestures with his head to which Goku understood. The two walked a little ways away from Chi-Chi.

"Aren't you worried she'll find out about the trip, Kakarott?" Vegeta asked.

"What kind of a guy do you think I am?" Goku asked. "To really go away without my wife?"

Chi-Chi then pops into the conversation. "Where's Bulma?"

Vegeta almost told her, but didn't get the chance.

"Come on, Bulma!" Chi-Chi yelled upstairs. "We're about to go! Get ready so we can go pick up Krillin and #18!"

Vegeta covered his ears at hearing the woman scream her lungs out, before he slowly looked at a clueless Goku.

* * *

After picking up Krillin and #18 and dropping off Trunks with Gohan and the Ox King, the three couples finally arrived at the cabin.

Upon entering, Chi-Chi and Bulma gawked and admired everything in the cabin, as Vegeta, Goku, and Krillin drudgingly followed with the entire luggage.

"I'll never understand how you women can bring so much crap with you," the Saiyan Prince said as he unloaded the luggage. "A lot of it is unnecessary."

Chi-Chi must not have heard him as she kept taking pictures of everything in the cabin. "Isn't this place just beautiful?"

Still rubbing his back, Vegeta responded, "Oh shut up, woman."

At that moment, the newly human #18 walked in with the fishing rods.

"What a dump," she said as she dropped the rods on the ground.

"Watch yourself, woman," Vegeta threatened the former android. "I came here to relax. If anything is done to piss me off, none of you are leaving here alive."

"Oh bite me, troll head!" #18 snapped as she rudely walked past the Saiyan Prince.

Vegeta turned to Bulma. "What the hell?"

"It's her time of the month."

"Oh great, I knew something wasn't right when he picked those two up!" Vegeta said before he stalked over to the former android. "Look woman, I came up here for a good time. Now I understand why you have to do this, but what I don't understand is why it has to be now?"

#18 looked up at Vegeta coldly. "Go away."

"Don't you push me!" he said.

"Yeah whatever, so where's mine and Krillin's room?"

Goku walked over to the couch. "This is it."

#18 slowly turned her gaze to the other Saiyan. "You mean there are no other rooms besides this one?"

"Of course not," Goku said. "It's a cabin."

"It's an outhouse, that's what it is," she remarked.

"Now, just calm down," Krillin said before his girlfriend did something drastic. "After all, here we are in the great outdoors. So, I suggest we all kick back and relax. I can't really remember the last time any of us had time to do so without having to worry about some threat."

"He's right," an upbeat Chi-Chi agreed. "I know what we can do. Let's go out on a nature hike. We can look at birds, collect leaves and arrowheads, and take pictures of the wildlife."

"Yeah and then we can all get naked and sing 'Kumbaya," Vegeta mentioned sarcastically.

Chi-Chi and Bulma looked at Vegeta sourly.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going out to relax," the Saiyan Prince said again. "Who's with me?"

"I'm with you, Vegeta," Krillin piped in.

Goku piped in as well, "Alright, now we're talking."

With that, the three men exited the cabin with fishing rods in hand, leaving the women alone.

* * *

Sometime later, the men returned with numerous fish in tow.

"I must say, Krillin," Vegeta said to the former monk. "It's different to patiently wait instead of blasting the fish out of the water. It certainly makes it easier to collect the fish."

"I told you, Vegeta," he said.

"So, what do you women think of this?" Vegeta announced as he and the other two men displayed the numerous fish they caught to their respective significant others

The girls didn't respond, but rather, they appeared feral and ready to kill.

The look of confidence vanished as the men noticed them.

"Oh no," Vegeta gulped, with this feeling of dread coming over him.

Krillin stuttered, "That's impossible."

"What is it, guys?" Goku asked.

Vegeta turned to Goku as he swallowed the lump that formed in his throat.

"Periods…all three of them," he slowly said.

Krillin jumped behind Goku and hid, quivering like a Chihuahua, while the other two become more frightened.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

Wow! Isn't this suspenseful or what? What kind of madness will happen next? You'll soon find out. And once again, if anyone is offended by this. Please believe me that is not the case at all and I apologize if you are offended. I also apologize for the OOC factors, if there is any. I'll catch y'all later. Peace.


	2. Part 2

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing, don't sue me.

Here I am once again, with part 2 of "Gone Camping." I hope you all are enjoying it so far. So let's not waste anymore time. Let's right into the action.

**GONE CAMPING**

**Part 2**

Sometime later, the women showed no change as Chi-Chi laid across a chair with an icepack over her head, Bulma washed her neck with a wash cloth and #18 pulled on her hair.

Vegeta, Krillin, and Goku sat at a small round table, looking at the scene in front of him.

"All three at once," Vegeta said before turning to the other two men. "Out of all the extraordinary sights I've witnessed in this universe. I mean, what do they do? Give it to each other."

"Actually, now that I think about it," Krillin began. "I remember reading something about this. I read they did a study of a girls' college dormitory and most of the girls wound up getting their periods at the same time. It's incredible."

"And here I thought they were a pain in the ass only once a month on their own," the Saiyan Prince commented. "Now, they can gather and form an army if they wanted to."

"We really need to think of something, considering the three people with the periods," Krillin said as he thought about the possible horrors ahead. "Those three are scary enough as it is. I can't imagine how they'll be now."

"Calm down, you two," Goku said confidently. "At a time like this, women need compassion, love, and understanding. Let me demonstrate."

The Earth-raised Saiyan got up and approached his wife, while Vegeta and Krillin watched with baited breath.

"Chi-Chi, let's talk," Goku simply said.

Chi-Chi removed the ice bag from her forehead and sat upright as she noticed her husband.

"Fine," she said irritably. "Let's talk about 14 months ago when I wanted to go see that movie and you were too tired. And about the time you wore that green sweater. I hate that sweater!"

Goku tried to speak, but didn't get the chance as his dark-haired wife stoop up to face him.

"I hate you, Goku!" she said as her voice rose in intensity. "Everything about you! Every breath you take; every move you make! You suck!"

Again, Goku tried to do something, but Chi-Chi denied him again as she started crying.

"I feel so bloated and ugly," Chi-Chi cried as she sat back down and turned to her blue haired friend. "See how mean he is to me, Bulma?"

All three women turned their hateful glares towards the Earth-raised Saiyan.

Goku slowly backed away from all three females and walked back to the table.

"Well, she's alright," the younger Saiyan announced. "She hasn't hit full fury yet, so that's a good thing at least."

Vegeta said, "Krillin, you're up."

"Oh man, do I have to?" the former monk complained.

One dangerous look from the Saiyan Prince was all it took for Krillin to get up from his seat and go over to #18.

"Hey babe, how are you?" Krillin asked his girlfriend. "Need anything to help with all that sweat?"

Vegeta and Goku cringed and turned away when #18's fist collided with Krillin's stomach a fraction of a second later.

Krillin, hunched over from the blow to the gut, walked back and sat back down in his seat while the two Saiyans looked at him.

"You're next, Vegeta," he said in a pained, squeaky voice.

"I don't think so," the Saiyan Prince said. "I did the smart thing and used scouts."

Krillin rubbed his sore stomach when he replied sarcastically, "Gee, glad to be of service."

"This is all your fault, you know?" Vegeta accused his Saiyan counterpart. "This was supposed to be paradise for us, but now, since you invited that harpy and everyone else along, it's transformed into Hell."

Goku held up his hands defensively. "I didn't know she would get all periodic."

"Remind me to kick your ass later," Vegeta said in a defeated tone. "That should make me feel somewhat better about all this."

"It's cold in here!" complained Chi-Chi.

"It's hot in here!" complained Bulma.

"It's hot and cold in here!" complained #18.

"We are in some major league trouble here, guys," remarked Krillin.

"Krillin's right, I'm scared," said a frightened Goku.

"Just be thankful when yours kills: quick and clean," Vegeta told both Goku and Krillin. "Mine on the other hand, like most female species, will want to mate before she kills."

The three turned to look at the women just as Bulma made a kissing gesture and a wink aimed for Vegeta.

Upon turning back around, Vegeta proclaimed, "No Krillin, I'm the one in major league trouble."

The men slump down in their chairs defeated, not knowing what to do next.

"Let's just get some rest while they suffer," Vegeta said.

Soon, all three men did exactly that.

* * *

**DAY 2**

"God, I feel foul," Bulma complained as she woke up.

"I'm so bloated, even my teeth are swollen," #18 complained.

"If I retain anymore water in my body, they could build a pier across my ass," complained Chi-Chi.

The three get out from their sleeping bags and stretched.

#18 said, "I need a back rub."

Chi-Chi said, "I need a foot rub."

Bulma said, "I need someone to yell at."

As all three females stretched and awoke, they noticed something missing.

"Speaking of which, where are the idiots?" Bulma asked.

"I bet they went fishing," exclaimed Chi-Chi. "That is so like them. I would love to give them a piece of my mind."

"Maybe we can," #18 said while flashing a sadistic smile. "I see Goku missed out on the party."

The other two saw Goku still asleep with no sight of Vegeta and Krillin.

With a crack of her knuckles, Bulma said, "Let's kill him."

All three approached the sleeping Saiyan, who, as he came around, suddenly paled.

"Guys, the women are here," Goku looked around and noticed he was all alone. "Oh man!"

Suddenly, the cabin door flew open as Vegeta and Krillin came racing in and slamming the door shut.

"What happened?" Bulma asked.

"Well, we were walking through the woods, not really doing anything, until suddenly, the ground started shaking and something came crashing through a bush," Vegeta said. "I thought it was you, Bulma, but it didn't have blue hair."

"It was a bear," Krillin said. "A big one with my name on it."

The two turn toward the window as Goku came over to see.

"There it is!" the former monk pointed out.

"That's a moose," Vegeta corrected him and pointed in another direction. "The bear is over there spraying the tires."

"What do they want?" Goku asked. "We don't have any food here."

"Well it's not us they're after," Krillin said as he turned to the other two away from the window. "Now that I think about it, I remember seeing something on the Discovery Channel about how wild animals can sense when females are…"

"Killing their mates?" Vegeta finished.

"No, when they're cycling," Krillin said as he pointed towards the window. "Don't you guys get it? They want our women!"

"Then our women they shall have," Vegeta said as he turned to Bulma. "Alright, we're leaving. The three of us will start packing, while you warm up the car."

"We're trapped," Krillin said. "Don't you understand? We can't go anywhere."

"Well someone has to go for help…oh and chocolate," #18 said.

"Gee, I would love to babe, but I can't," Krillin nervously laughed. "There's a moose filling the gas tank. And I'm not even going to try to fly. There are too many animals out there."

"Look at them: our heroes." Bulma said sarcastically to the other two women.

The three men continued looking out the window.

"Well the cast of 'Bambi' is out there now," Vegeta announced. "And in here, we have some of the Seven Dwarves."

"We do?" Goku simply asked.

"Yeah," Vegeta said as he turned to the women. "Puffy, Crabby, and Horny."

The three women looked at the Saiyan Prince sourly, as he walked to his sleeping bag while removing his jacket.

"Well I guess I can say that this day is shot," he said as he removed his jacket and kicked off his shoes. "Let's turn in."

"Vegeta, its 7:30 in the morning," Bulma noted.

"Bulma, we're out in the woods now," Vegeta unzipped his bag and crawled in. "We get up early, we go to bed early."

No one responded as they saw a horde of animals stalk past the cabin window.

"Oh and I'm sleeping in tomorrow so don't wake me up early," Vegeta said again. "I want to get in a good 37 hours."

* * *

**DAY 4**

After many hours of sleep, Vegeta finally woke up.

"What's today?" he asked as he got up from his bag and stretched.

Chi-Chi said, "Thursday."

Vegeta asked as he stretched "Did I miss anything?"

"Let's see," Bulma said sarcastically. "We made porridge of wood, soot and bug parts, a chipmunk throwing itself against the window…oh and Wednesday!"

"Somebody do something," #18 pleaded. "This sucks!"

"Well, it's too early to go back to sleep," Vegeta contemplated. "Kakarott, how's the car?"

"Aside from what, the porcupine quills in the tires or the cougars in the front seat pretending to be driving?" Goku asked while looking out the window.

"Great," Bulma said with fake enthusiasm.

"But the joke is on them, as Krillin still has the keys," Goku said while laughing at what he said.

Everyone fell down and become a little more agitated than before.

"Vegeta, I don't know how much more we can hold out," Krillin said. "The beavers chopped down a tree and the moose has it mounted on its antlers to charge the door."

"That just sounds ridiculous," Chi-Chi said.

More would've been said more if it wasn't for a loud thump coming from the cabin door.

"Oh, this is just great," Chi-Chi said panicking.

"That does it," Vegeta announced. "Now I have had enough. I want this period crap to stop right now."

"Vegeta, don't try and reason with them," Krillin warned. "They were just fine before you woke up."

"Vegeta, you are an idiot!" Bulma stalked up to her husband. "I was home, I was comfortable, I was safe, and I was with our son. I hate you! I truly hate you!"

The silence in the cabin was almost deafening after Bulma's outburst.

Suddenly, Bulma gripped Vegeta's arm and said seductively, causing the Saiyan Prince to look at her.

"Come on honey, let's do it right now," the blue-haired woman asked the surprised Saiyan as she forcefully grabbed his jacket collar and brought him closer to her. "We'll go into the bathroom. No one has to know…Not even you."

"Krillin, open the door," Vegeta said with distress in his voice. "I'm going out there. I'll blast every one of them into pieces if I have to."

"Vegeta, there are animals everywhere," Krillin pointed out.

"I don't care." Vegeta removed his wife from him and ran towards the door. "I'm making a break for it."

The Saiyan Prince opened the cabin door and rushed out in frenzy as Goku, Krillin and Bulma ran toward the window to see what happened.

"Oh my goodness," Goku said. "He's trying to fight them off, but there's just too many of them."

"I can't watch," Chi-Chi said as she tried to move the wooden table. "I have to clean."

"Yeah, it doesn't look good for him," Bulma said. "Someone should really go out there and help him."

As she moved the table, Chi-Chi found a trapdoor.

"There's food!" she exclaimed. "I've found food."

All five ran toward the table to eat the hidden stash, all the while Vegeta screamed in attempt to fight off the animals.

* * *

**DAY 5**

"Thanks for inviting us, Kakarott," Vegeta said sarcastically while all bandaged up.

Goku said nothing while hanging his head forward and eating a piece of beef jerky as Krillin sucked his thumb.

"What's next: Lion Safari?" Vegeta asked.

At that minute, the three girls walked into the cabin feeling better than ever, with baskets of flowers that they picked.

"I feel so much better now," #18 remarked.

"Guess what guys?" Chi-Chi asked cheerfully. "We saw two wrens building a nest together."

"Did you happen to find the rest of my ear out there too?" Vegeta asked.

"Now Vegeta, you didn't lose an ear," Bulma told him.

"Physically, no but I can't help but feel certain parts of me missing," he said to her.

Chi-Chi sniffed her flower. "You're not going to bring me down, Mr. Cloudy Day."

"He is such a baby," Bulma noted. "We should really start packing."

* * *

Soon, all six cleaned up the cabin and packed up their belongings. The women maintained their happy mood as they left, while the men remained despondent.

"You know; if they were going to be such grouches, why even invite them?" #18 asked Chi-Chi as they left the cabin.

"I don't get it," Bulma replied as she left the cabin as well with Krillin, Goku and Vegeta behind her. "I mean, why are they so miserable? After all, we're the ones with the periods."

Being the last to leave, Vegeta listlessly closed the cabin door behind him.

**THE END**

Well it's over. I hope you all enjoyed it. I hope you found it entertaining. I hope you found it humorous. I hope you had a good time reading it. But once again, if I offended anyone in anyway by doing a fic revolving around periods, I didn't mean to, as this was all in fun. But if I did, then I apologize. So go ahead and send in your reviews as they are greatly appreciated.

So until next time, this is T-Money saying "If you want some, come get some. And if you don't like me, bite me."


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